Self Esteem Monster Still Lurks

Yep. And the more I look around, the more revalent this concern seems to be. I guess if you have spent most of your life not being happy with your body, a little thing like a breast augmentation and being on hormones is not going to be a magic wand. Let's face it. If you spend twenty-some years hating your body because it isn't right, that becomes a daily habit, and unfortunately, as we all know, bad habits can be very hard to break.

It isn't that people want to be disappointed or unhappy with their 'new' body, but by the same token, sometimes people just don't know how else to be. It is a learned condition that doesn't just go away when you wake up after some surgery. Low self esteem and poor self image is something that needs to be properly addressed and treated like any other illness is treated. It is, after all, a mental illness and needs to be treated like one.

People will say that you have this great body and you should be happy with it, and that is true, to an extent. Again, we are not hitting the root of the problem, which is a deep seated, underlying feeling that your body is not right and that you do not like it the way it is.

As a smoker who has tried repeatedly over the years to quit (unsuccessfully most of the time as I am smoking a cigarette right now) I know how hard it is to get rid of a learned behavior, and mine is in no way as deeply ingrained as something like self image and such.

If you take the time to really get to know someone who is transitioning, you will likely see two sides to this person. A public persona that is happy and tickled pink with their new body, and the private side, where they are unable to let go of the mental scarring that has built up over the years of feeling that their body was wrong and imperfect.

I wish I had a better answer, because the real crux here is that you can not tell a person that they need to see a mental health professional for something like this. Some may already be in counseling for their transition, but for those who are not, the healing can not start until they admit that there is a problem and seek help for it.

All we, as partners or friends, can do is to be there and be supportive. That and pray to whatever higher power you believe in and hope that things will work out eventually.

Almost 4 months out

Well... we got this far. Things are going well. The implants have settled and are looking great. I wasn't too sure how it would be in the intimacy department, but I have to say that I really am impressed. Even though the implants had to go in through the nipple/areola area, her nipples are beginning to resensitize and regain their feeling, which makes playing with them more fun.

For the record, I started out with women, and am aware of what breasts are and how to properly utilize them during intimate sequences... I hope that is enough of political correctness and PG13-ness for you all.

Some things really haven't changed. We still deal with the mood swings, but we are learning more about ourselves on this travel through transition. Not only are we learning how to get along better with her mood swings, but we are also learning how my bi-polar disorder affects things and how the two things interact.

I am routinely thankful that we have such good friends. Especially the ones we play cards with every Friday, and the friends we go see during the week.. one of whom also is bi-polar and has been a great friend to help explain to her why I am the way I am.

Sometimes things just work out better when a good friend tells one half of the relationship something that the other half has been saying for a long time.

I have some good shots that I would love to post, but I am not sure of how Blogger will take that, so I will have to see what I can do for you all. I am going to drop a couple PG13 shots here so that you can see where she is at now, so enjoy!!