Things went really well and she was a hit. Nothing more to write now... just too tired. Working full time nights and part time days really wears you out after a while.
Have a great one.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Fashion
Wow. I never thought that this would end up being a topic for this particular blog.
As it turns out, it is. We are going to my cousin's wedding this weekend, and I have to say, what to wear has been the biggest headache for this weekend. Not the drive, not the accommodations, not figuring out who will watch the dogs, but fashion.
During the course of my almost 35 years, I have had the good fortune to grow up in a professional family, and learned at a young age what the socially acceptable forms of dress are for various occasions. Having an average sized extended family, I have had numerous opportunities to attend weddings, funerals, baptisms and other such events. My other half on the other hand, did not. Of course, what we have attended together to this point, we were both attending as males, and that was easy enough to work with.
Now, she has spent a lot of years perfecting the art of the female illusionist on stage and is a phenomenal performer. The key is, when you are on stage, you want to stand out and be noticed. At a social event like a wedding, you are better off blending in. I had to put the foot down and reserve executive veto on this topic, just to keep it from becoming a fiasco. Mind you, my family is open and supportive, but my cousin works in NYC and most of his exposure to gender bending is the flaming drag queens down there. He was a little concerned as his wife-to-be's family seems to have a slightly conservative streak to it. I worked very hard to explain that no one would be aware that there was anything other than female to my other half and set his mind at ease.
Of course, this led to a whole lot of spirited discussion between my other half and myself in regards to appropriate wedding wear. Thankfully, we finally managed to settle on an outfit that we both like.
This looks to be a great weekend ahead, and will be our first real social function since the transition began. I am looking forward to it with great anticipation and think that it will go very well and will do a whole lot to help out her self image and confidence levels as well.
Have a great weekend and I will fill you in when we get back :)
As it turns out, it is. We are going to my cousin's wedding this weekend, and I have to say, what to wear has been the biggest headache for this weekend. Not the drive, not the accommodations, not figuring out who will watch the dogs, but fashion.
During the course of my almost 35 years, I have had the good fortune to grow up in a professional family, and learned at a young age what the socially acceptable forms of dress are for various occasions. Having an average sized extended family, I have had numerous opportunities to attend weddings, funerals, baptisms and other such events. My other half on the other hand, did not. Of course, what we have attended together to this point, we were both attending as males, and that was easy enough to work with.
Now, she has spent a lot of years perfecting the art of the female illusionist on stage and is a phenomenal performer. The key is, when you are on stage, you want to stand out and be noticed. At a social event like a wedding, you are better off blending in. I had to put the foot down and reserve executive veto on this topic, just to keep it from becoming a fiasco. Mind you, my family is open and supportive, but my cousin works in NYC and most of his exposure to gender bending is the flaming drag queens down there. He was a little concerned as his wife-to-be's family seems to have a slightly conservative streak to it. I worked very hard to explain that no one would be aware that there was anything other than female to my other half and set his mind at ease.
Of course, this led to a whole lot of spirited discussion between my other half and myself in regards to appropriate wedding wear. Thankfully, we finally managed to settle on an outfit that we both like.
This looks to be a great weekend ahead, and will be our first real social function since the transition began. I am looking forward to it with great anticipation and think that it will go very well and will do a whole lot to help out her self image and confidence levels as well.
Have a great weekend and I will fill you in when we get back :)
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Change is in the air
Well, things certainly are moving along. Yesterday, we did a little research and found out how to go about getting ID that states female instead of male. As it turns out, in New York State, all you need is a letter from your physician, psychologist or psychiatrist that you are transitioning and are living as one gender or the other, despite being born the opposite. I have to say, the glow in her eyes when she proudly showed me the temporary ID stating female was enough to almost make me cry (hey, I was at work, I have to be a little professional).
I guess I have also neglected to mention some other important things, primarily the fact that there are significant body changes as well. Other then the general softening and feminization of the facial features, she is now up to almost a B cup (without surgery at this point) and there is also a definite change in the hips and waist to give that more hourglass-like figure.
While these changes have been gradual, they are apparent enough that 99% of people who pass by in the street have no idea that she was born male. This is what we were looking for. While I realize that not everyone is going to be this lucky, I have to admit, i am glad that we are.
OK, time to go finish the laundry now :)
Have a great day!
I guess I have also neglected to mention some other important things, primarily the fact that there are significant body changes as well. Other then the general softening and feminization of the facial features, she is now up to almost a B cup (without surgery at this point) and there is also a definite change in the hips and waist to give that more hourglass-like figure.
While these changes have been gradual, they are apparent enough that 99% of people who pass by in the street have no idea that she was born male. This is what we were looking for. While I realize that not everyone is going to be this lucky, I have to admit, i am glad that we are.
OK, time to go finish the laundry now :)
Have a great day!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Side Effects
Yep, they're going to happen at some point. Let's face it, you are messing around with the chemical make up of the human body. Any time you start messing with that, you are almost asking for a problem. I will grant that in most cases, it is beneficial to the health and life of the individual taking the meds.
The thing is, the human body is a fragile microcosm in constant flux. Adding any type of checicals can have catastrophic results.
Now, the thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good relationship with your pharmacist and doctor so you can discuss what side effects to expect from the hormone replacement therapy and how to handle them. We just had to make a change in meds as the one was causing side effects that were beginning to interfere with day to day life. Fortunately, between my medical background and a fairly recent copy of the Physician's Desk Reference at home, we were able to get a pretty good idea of which one it was that was causing the problems.
The point here, is that while some side effects are things you can deal with, some are not, and you have to know when to draw the line and where to draw it as well. If you don't know and don't have the support structure to help you figure this out, I would STRONGLY suggest you start working in that direction, be it with your doctor or pharmacist. Of course, having someone at home who has a medical background of some sort is good too.
Remember, this is a transition to become the person you were meant to be. There will likely be a few bumps along the way, but with a little bit of pre-planning and setting up a good support structure, you can ease the transition a little bit more in your direction.
Have a great day and remember, love is.
The thing is, the human body is a fragile microcosm in constant flux. Adding any type of checicals can have catastrophic results.
Now, the thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good relationship with your pharmacist and doctor so you can discuss what side effects to expect from the hormone replacement therapy and how to handle them. We just had to make a change in meds as the one was causing side effects that were beginning to interfere with day to day life. Fortunately, between my medical background and a fairly recent copy of the Physician's Desk Reference at home, we were able to get a pretty good idea of which one it was that was causing the problems.
The point here, is that while some side effects are things you can deal with, some are not, and you have to know when to draw the line and where to draw it as well. If you don't know and don't have the support structure to help you figure this out, I would STRONGLY suggest you start working in that direction, be it with your doctor or pharmacist. Of course, having someone at home who has a medical background of some sort is good too.
Remember, this is a transition to become the person you were meant to be. There will likely be a few bumps along the way, but with a little bit of pre-planning and setting up a good support structure, you can ease the transition a little bit more in your direction.
Have a great day and remember, love is.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Random thought #115
Just a thought. Never try to have sex on Mexican night.
Seriously folks, I don't care how many times you washed your hands, if you been chopping jalapeños, you ain't touching my hardware.
Call this a lesson learned from experience tonight. The oils in the jalapeños mixes really well with the lube and HOLY SHIT!! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!! and I mean that quite literally too.
So, just to review, unless you want your parts to feel like Godzilla is going down on you (or you're being eaten alive by a colony of fire ants), no chopping jalapeños if you want the nookie!!!
Eat good and be safe :)
Seriously folks, I don't care how many times you washed your hands, if you been chopping jalapeños, you ain't touching my hardware.
Call this a lesson learned from experience tonight. The oils in the jalapeños mixes really well with the lube and HOLY SHIT!! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!! and I mean that quite literally too.
So, just to review, unless you want your parts to feel like Godzilla is going down on you (or you're being eaten alive by a colony of fire ants), no chopping jalapeños if you want the nookie!!!
Eat good and be safe :)
Friday, May 4, 2007
And the vacation is over.
But that's OK too. I have to admit, waking up to her coming home today was a really nice feeling. yeah, I missed her, I admit it, you caught me.
I think that the real test of the relationship is how you feel when your other half gets home from being gone for almost 2 weeks. When I woke up today and saw her there, I finally understood what it meant to feel your heart jump for joy. (OK... that was actually a little bit later, after taking care of some business. 'Nuff said)
Now I know that we will be fine with this transition. I know that our relationship is strong enough to make it through.
OK, enough for now, I have to get back to work, and you need to go back to sleep :) after all, I am writing this at 415am my time. The beauty of working nights.
Like I said before, Love is.
I think that the real test of the relationship is how you feel when your other half gets home from being gone for almost 2 weeks. When I woke up today and saw her there, I finally understood what it meant to feel your heart jump for joy. (OK... that was actually a little bit later, after taking care of some business. 'Nuff said)
Now I know that we will be fine with this transition. I know that our relationship is strong enough to make it through.
OK, enough for now, I have to get back to work, and you need to go back to sleep :) after all, I am writing this at 415am my time. The beauty of working nights.
Like I said before, Love is.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Why do I do this?
OK, so with her being out of town, I have had a little less in the way of input for my anecdotal type reflections on the transition. However, having plenty of free time to work with, I figured I may as well give a little bit of back story here, expand on the last post if you will.
It really is kind of disappointing. There is almost nothing out there for people like me. I know all about what she is going through, but there really isn't any touchstone for me to work with, nothing to let me know if I am doing the right things, saying the right things (OK, that is kind of self evident most of the time, just watch the response). That is why I figured that I would start this little effort on the web. I hope that someday I can start working with some professionals, and perhaps have a real resource web site that will allow the partners of those transitioning to have access to help and information to assist them in getting through the transition.
One of the big things I find I have a hard time with is orientation identification. Granted, I spent a lot of years trying to deny who I am, and when I finally come out and admit that I like the guys, the one I pick to fall in love with ends up being transgendered. This can really toss you a curve ball if you aren't sure where to go. I am fortunate on several levels though, first of all, my family is not only supportive, they are actively supportive, working hard to make sure they make the pronoun changes, being there when either one of us needs someone to talk to (even if it is just about each other) and genuinely caring about the both of us.
Secondly, I am very fortunate to have a partner who, while going through this transition, understands that I have a lot of this crap banging around in my head and is willing to take the time to talk with me and keep our lines of communication open (most of the time, but hey, no one's perfect :)). I am also very, very fortunate that she and my son have a great relationship and he understands what is going on. He knows that no matter what, he has a place where he is loved and cared for.
The way I see it, there are a few things in life that are definite, other than death and taxes. One is that you will find someone who you can love with your whole heart, but you need to love yourself first, and secondly, that wen you find that person, little things like this can not change that love. Test it maybe, but if it is true, you will get through this together.
I have enough background in health and medicine, psychology and comparative theology, that I have a wealth of resources available to me when I have a question. Not everyone in this position is going to be that lucky. But I figured that if we are going thorough the same process (or similar at least, then perhaps you can draw some comfort or even guidance from what I have been through and what insights I have to offer.
Like I said in the last post, if you have a thought or comment, please feel free to leave them below, or click the e-mail link in the last post to drop me a line if it is something that you want to talk to me about on a one to one basis, or something that you would like a less public answer to. I can promise that if I don't know, I will let you know that and see if we can get you pointed in the right direction to find the info you need.
Have a great night and remember, love is. That's it. Love is. Period.
It really is kind of disappointing. There is almost nothing out there for people like me. I know all about what she is going through, but there really isn't any touchstone for me to work with, nothing to let me know if I am doing the right things, saying the right things (OK, that is kind of self evident most of the time, just watch the response). That is why I figured that I would start this little effort on the web. I hope that someday I can start working with some professionals, and perhaps have a real resource web site that will allow the partners of those transitioning to have access to help and information to assist them in getting through the transition.
One of the big things I find I have a hard time with is orientation identification. Granted, I spent a lot of years trying to deny who I am, and when I finally come out and admit that I like the guys, the one I pick to fall in love with ends up being transgendered. This can really toss you a curve ball if you aren't sure where to go. I am fortunate on several levels though, first of all, my family is not only supportive, they are actively supportive, working hard to make sure they make the pronoun changes, being there when either one of us needs someone to talk to (even if it is just about each other) and genuinely caring about the both of us.
Secondly, I am very fortunate to have a partner who, while going through this transition, understands that I have a lot of this crap banging around in my head and is willing to take the time to talk with me and keep our lines of communication open (most of the time, but hey, no one's perfect :)). I am also very, very fortunate that she and my son have a great relationship and he understands what is going on. He knows that no matter what, he has a place where he is loved and cared for.
The way I see it, there are a few things in life that are definite, other than death and taxes. One is that you will find someone who you can love with your whole heart, but you need to love yourself first, and secondly, that wen you find that person, little things like this can not change that love. Test it maybe, but if it is true, you will get through this together.
I have enough background in health and medicine, psychology and comparative theology, that I have a wealth of resources available to me when I have a question. Not everyone in this position is going to be that lucky. But I figured that if we are going thorough the same process (or similar at least, then perhaps you can draw some comfort or even guidance from what I have been through and what insights I have to offer.
Like I said in the last post, if you have a thought or comment, please feel free to leave them below, or click the e-mail link in the last post to drop me a line if it is something that you want to talk to me about on a one to one basis, or something that you would like a less public answer to. I can promise that if I don't know, I will let you know that and see if we can get you pointed in the right direction to find the info you need.
Have a great night and remember, love is. That's it. Love is. Period.
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