Well, this is something that I suppose has to be brought up at some point along this journey. sooner or later, you are going to run into people who, for one reason or another, decide that you fit the profile of "People to Hate on".
Personally, having been raised Roman Catholic, I have a good background in the beliefs that most people will use to condemn you. I have found that a little research and memorization will go a long ways to helping you. Of course, a lot of these people will not listen to what you have to say, they are too wrapped up in their hate to see anything else in the world. The real key is to keep walking, head high and ignore them.
I have, on several occasions, reminded these particular people that their Jesus stated that the most important commandment above and beyond all others, is to 'Love one another as I have loved you.' With the exception of the Money clangers in the temple, he never put anyone down or judged them based on their lifestyle, but how they lived their lives instead.
For those who hate, just because they can, there is no real rebuttal but to ignore them.
For the record, I DO NOT condone violence of any type, however, should your or your partner's lives, safety or well being be put into immediate jeopardy and there is no other recourse, kick them in the pants and run like hell until you can call the police. Personally, I follow the path to Buddha's enlightenment, and prefer to walk the path of nonviolence, but if someone were to physically threaten me or my family, and there was no other option, I would not hesitate to defend us.
I wish you the best during your journey and encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Who's gonna make me pretty now?
Finding a plastic surgeon.
We all know that you are going to have to go through this step at some point, and with 16 years in the medical field, I figure that I may as well address it now as we have already begun the search.
First, are there others in your area who have already gone through this? If so, ask for who they would or would not recommend. If not, then it is time to start opening the phone book and looking them up. Make the calls and ask if they handle transgender breast augmentation (starting at the top). Don't be discouraged if you don't find someone right away. Talk to the doctor who is managing your hormone therapy as well, they may know of someone in your area or close to it that does this kind of surgery.
Second, once you find a doctor or two who do the surgery, make an appointment to see them. Let them know ahead of time that you want to discuss not only your care, but their experience and qualifications and ask to see before and after shots of previous patients. Some offices may have patients who are willing to be references, but in the age of HIPAA (that pesky federal law that prevents disclosure of information) they may not. Either way, make sure that you are comfortable with their work before you go any further. Also be open and frank with them about your lifestyle and any other questions they may ask. Lieing will only hurt you, not them.
Once you have found a doctor that you are comfortable with, you are well on your way to becoming your true self.
We all know that you are going to have to go through this step at some point, and with 16 years in the medical field, I figure that I may as well address it now as we have already begun the search.
First, are there others in your area who have already gone through this? If so, ask for who they would or would not recommend. If not, then it is time to start opening the phone book and looking them up. Make the calls and ask if they handle transgender breast augmentation (starting at the top). Don't be discouraged if you don't find someone right away. Talk to the doctor who is managing your hormone therapy as well, they may know of someone in your area or close to it that does this kind of surgery.
Second, once you find a doctor or two who do the surgery, make an appointment to see them. Let them know ahead of time that you want to discuss not only your care, but their experience and qualifications and ask to see before and after shots of previous patients. Some offices may have patients who are willing to be references, but in the age of HIPAA (that pesky federal law that prevents disclosure of information) they may not. Either way, make sure that you are comfortable with their work before you go any further. Also be open and frank with them about your lifestyle and any other questions they may ask. Lieing will only hurt you, not them.
Once you have found a doctor that you are comfortable with, you are well on your way to becoming your true self.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Let's talk about sex
OK, some people think this is a taboo subject. I don't.
The thing to remember, is that sex is an important part to any long term relationship. It is not the most important part, but it is important nonetheless. It is especially important when your partner is transitioning. Your partner needs to know that you still find him/her attractive in a sexual fashion, and you need to be able to know that you are coming to terms or have come to terms with the transition on a physical level.
Unfortunately, if you have made it through the rest of the transition, this is the spot most likely to be the breaking point.
The thing is, if you can truly love your partner, you can still find a way to have a physical relationship. You may even find that certain attributes of the transition work to heighten the sexual experience. The main thing to remember, is that if you want it to work, you will find the ways to make it work. The only thing standing between you and making it work, is you.
I know that I have said this many times before, but you need to be able to be brutally honest with yourself and your partner. If you truly love them, you will find the strength to get through this together. If you don't have those strong emotional attachments, you likely won't make it, and you and your partner need to know this up front in order to avoid even worse heartbreak later on down the line.
The thing to remember, is that sex is an important part to any long term relationship. It is not the most important part, but it is important nonetheless. It is especially important when your partner is transitioning. Your partner needs to know that you still find him/her attractive in a sexual fashion, and you need to be able to know that you are coming to terms or have come to terms with the transition on a physical level.
Unfortunately, if you have made it through the rest of the transition, this is the spot most likely to be the breaking point.
The thing is, if you can truly love your partner, you can still find a way to have a physical relationship. You may even find that certain attributes of the transition work to heighten the sexual experience. The main thing to remember, is that if you want it to work, you will find the ways to make it work. The only thing standing between you and making it work, is you.
I know that I have said this many times before, but you need to be able to be brutally honest with yourself and your partner. If you truly love them, you will find the strength to get through this together. If you don't have those strong emotional attachments, you likely won't make it, and you and your partner need to know this up front in order to avoid even worse heartbreak later on down the line.
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