The Pronoun Game

One of the biggest hurdles I face with a transitioning partner, is the change in pronouns. I have to watch myself, as I have spent almost 4 ears now calling my partner by the masculine pronouns, and suddenly, here I am expected to just up and use the feminine versions.

Now, this is not an easy thing to do, and on top of it all, when your partner is in the throes of hormone therapy induced mood swings, it just complicates matters further. This would lead me to understand why it seems that so many people who transition, do so while not maintaining a relationship. As silly as it seems, the pronoun change is actually something that is a very serious part of the transition. As the person transitions from one gender to another in a physical and visible sense, the transition of the pronouns and descriptive adjectives need to keep up with that change.

The key to remember, is that it is not a change that will happen all at once, especially in our case, where we were together for over 3 and a half years before this transition started. Not only do I have to make this adjustment, but my family and my son do as well. We are all working on it, but, like I said, it is all about the understanding of the person who is transitioning that it will take time to adjust. Before you go off on me though, I want to mention, that it is not all on the person who is transitioning either, those around must make a concerted effort to make the adjustment to the new pronouns and adjectives as well.

If everyone works together and tries to keep in mind that there is going to be some adjustment time for all parties, it will make this part of the transition that much easier.