Why do I do this?

OK, so with her being out of town, I have had a little less in the way of input for my anecdotal type reflections on the transition. However, having plenty of free time to work with, I figured I may as well give a little bit of back story here, expand on the last post if you will.

It really is kind of disappointing. There is almost nothing out there for people like me. I know all about what she is going through, but there really isn't any touchstone for me to work with, nothing to let me know if I am doing the right things, saying the right things (OK, that is kind of self evident most of the time, just watch the response). That is why I figured that I would start this little effort on the web. I hope that someday I can start working with some professionals, and perhaps have a real resource web site that will allow the partners of those transitioning to have access to help and information to assist them in getting through the transition.

One of the big things I find I have a hard time with is orientation identification. Granted, I spent a lot of years trying to deny who I am, and when I finally come out and admit that I like the guys, the one I pick to fall in love with ends up being transgendered. This can really toss you a curve ball if you aren't sure where to go. I am fortunate on several levels though, first of all, my family is not only supportive, they are actively supportive, working hard to make sure they make the pronoun changes, being there when either one of us needs someone to talk to (even if it is just about each other) and genuinely caring about the both of us.

Secondly, I am very fortunate to have a partner who, while going through this transition, understands that I have a lot of this crap banging around in my head and is willing to take the time to talk with me and keep our lines of communication open (most of the time, but hey, no one's perfect :)). I am also very, very fortunate that she and my son have a great relationship and he understands what is going on. He knows that no matter what, he has a place where he is loved and cared for.

The way I see it, there are a few things in life that are definite, other than death and taxes. One is that you will find someone who you can love with your whole heart, but you need to love yourself first, and secondly, that wen you find that person, little things like this can not change that love. Test it maybe, but if it is true, you will get through this together.

I have enough background in health and medicine, psychology and comparative theology, that I have a wealth of resources available to me when I have a question. Not everyone in this position is going to be that lucky. But I figured that if we are going thorough the same process (or similar at least, then perhaps you can draw some comfort or even guidance from what I have been through and what insights I have to offer.

Like I said in the last post, if you have a thought or comment, please feel free to leave them below, or click the e-mail link in the last post to drop me a line if it is something that you want to talk to me about on a one to one basis, or something that you would like a less public answer to. I can promise that if I don't know, I will let you know that and see if we can get you pointed in the right direction to find the info you need.

Have a great night and remember, love is. That's it. Love is. Period.